Things they say


We are all sitting round the table at Grandma’s about to tuck into some gammon. It’s a family favourite but the children have recently decided pigs are among their very favourite animals and I’m feeling a little nervous about the impending meal.

Sure enough as the children tuck into their first mouthful, Alexander, the main pig lover pipes up: ” What kind of meat is this?”

“Gammon,” says Grandma brightly.

“What animal is that from?”

“Pig” says Grandma as I freeze and look anxiously at the children’s quivering lips… but Grandma is not finished.

“Peppa pig,” she adds for good measure – and smiles innocently

Peppa pig – one of their all time favourite characters .. Noooooo – my mouth falls open in horror.

But the children are unusually unfazed and join Grandma smiling and we all laugh and laugh.


“Come here Mummy, you’re doing it all wrong”

Seven year old puts his arms round the back of my neck and drags my head towards him.

“I’ll show you how to kiss properly”

I shake with laughter as he presses his lips rather painfully against mine and holds me in a vice-like grip for the duration.

“There – that was 10 seconds – now we need a hug for 10 seconds.”

We hug, while he counts.

“Now pick a number between 10 and 15”


“You are just trying to hug me for a shorter time.”

“OK – 14?”



Sibling rivalry

Big sister looking down crossly at little brother’s homework folder: “Do you get 10 out of 10 ALL the time?”

Little brother: “Actually it’s 12 out of 12.”

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